you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
