hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize