What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
