you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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