I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
