I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
