So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
