Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
