Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
