is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
