And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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