Don't you send me to vm
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was like getting head from an anaconda
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
