i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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