We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
