Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
