im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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