Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
