we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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