will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
