Betty ford says i'm here all night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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