Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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