dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
