If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
