I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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