You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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