Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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