this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
