I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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