She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
