She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
