This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
