She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Couch. On fire.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
