Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
