oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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