Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
