Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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