I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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