Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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