think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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