Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize