So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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