Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
