THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
