I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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