Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
