A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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