Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
