Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
