Got a toothbrush?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
