now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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