I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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