you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
