Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
