Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
