My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm really busy with my period
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