i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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