Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
sex in a hospital.. check
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
