they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I should be sponsored by Trojan
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
