He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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